UPDATED JULY 5, 2023
In my 12+ years in business, I’ve learned a lot about working with clients.
One of the big things I’ve learned is that we’re not always compatible. You may not like the way I work or appreciate my process. And what I offer may not be what you need.
In the spirit of not wasting your time — or mine — here’s why I’m not the right copywriter for you and why you should think about going elsewhere.
10 Reasons not to work with me
1. You’re looking for the cheapest quote
If you’re looking for the cheapest quote, you won’t find it here.
Effective, well-written copy and content is an investment in your business — not just another expense. And it can pay for itself many times over.
I’m a senior copywriter with more than 20 years’ professional writing experience. I offer effective, results-driven copy that’s meticulously researched and expertly written. It’s not the kind of copy that can be rattled off in half an hour for a few pence a word.
Some other things you should know:
- I don’t offer discounted rates for more regular work — working more hours for less money doesn’t excite me
- I don’t ‘price match’ with other copywriters — if their price is so great, why aren’t you hiring them?
- I don’t respond to haggling — this ain’t a flea market.
My prices are commensurate with the value I offer and are non-negotiable.
2. You want a free sample
I don’t work for free. Ever.
Writing free samples doesn’t pay my bills. And it makes no sense to write for free when I have clients who are happy to pay me.
If you need to see something else, just ask and I’ll be happy to point you in the right direction.
3. You need your copy yesterday
Good ideas can come from the most unlikely places.
But they rarely come while you’re hunched over a hot laptop, hammering out words as though your life depended on it.
When I’m rushing, I don’t have time to put in the work that needs to be done. That means I can’t:
- Get to know your audience
- Research your industry and competition
- Edit and refine my work before I submit it.
I spent years in high-pressure jobs, working to tight deadlines. And I often felt that given more time, I’d have done a better job. Now I’m self-employed, I want better for my clients and myself. I want the satisfaction of seeing my clients’ businesses thrive.
Rushing work through is not the way to achieve this — and it benefits neither of us. So I choose not to do it.
4. You’re looking for a ‘yes’ person
I’m a partner and collaborator — not a hired help.
If you’re looking for a copywriter who’ll do exactly as you want, the way you want it done, without question, that’s not me.
If you’re paying for the expertise of a professional, but you don’t want the benefit of their knowledge and experience, or to listen to their sensible advice then, frankly, you’re wasting your money.
When clients tell me what they want, often it’s not what they need. A different solution might be more effective, cost less and take effect more quickly.
If we work together, I’ll be invested in your success. And I’ll want to work with you in a way that contributes to that success — doing things in the best way I know how.
If that’s not what you want, too, we won’t be a good fit.
5. You’d write it yourself, if you had time
Maybe you have a crystal clear idea of what you think your copy should sound like and anything else just won’t do. Perhaps you’ve already worked with a copywriter and things didn’t work out for this reason.
You see, you can give me all the information and guidance you like, but there’s still a good chance I won’t write the copy the way you imagine it should be.
First, because I can’t see inside your head. And second, because I’ll get to know your audience and write it the way it should be written, rather than the way you think it should be written.
If you don’t value my copywriting skills, you’ll question everything.
That will result in a drawn-out approval process and endless changes that will ultimately disrupt the rhythm and flow of your copy, while diluting its message and weakening its power.
It will be a nightmare for both of us.
If you rate your writing skills, hiring a copywriter may not be the best way to get what you want. Instead, you should think about writing the copy yourself and hiring a proofreader to check it for errors.
6. You expect my copy to solve all your problems
If you’re expecting my copy alone to transform your business, your expectations may be unrealistic.
Don’t get me wrong — my copy is exceptional, but it doesn’t work in isolation.
There are lots of reasons why copy alone might not help you. For example if:
- Your product/service isn’t that great
- Your website has unresolved issues
- You’re aiming at the wrong market
- Your brand messaging is inconsistent
- Customers don’t like or trust your brand
- You have bad reviews from other customers.
If you want this to work well, everything else in your business has to be working well too.
7. You don’t want to follow my process
Just as you will expect things from me, I will expect things from you — especially if you want me to meet your deadline and deliver what we’ve agreed.
For these things to happen, you’ll need to follow my process.
This means I’ll need you to complete a copywriting brief and provide all the information I need. And while we’re working together, I’ll need you to be communicative and respond to further questions promptly and fully.
I should also make it clear that I correspond by email only. I don’t accept files or communications sent to me by WhatsApp, Messenger or LinkedIn. This is because I often need to refer to our previous conversations, so I want everything in one place.
8. You just want words to fill a space
Your designer/SEO has sent you because you need words for your website or blog.
But you don’t really care about the quality or effectiveness of those words. You just want them because you’ve been told you need them.
And you probably also think they can be written quickly, cheaply and with minimal input from you.
Sure, there are copywriters who’ll do that. But I’m not one of them.
Good copy is how you communicate with your customers when you’re not there to do it in person.
You should care that it’s well-written, properly researched and represents you accurately. Otherwise you’re doing your business and customers a disservice.
9. You obsess over metrics and/or grammar
I’m results driven, but in copy and content writing, working to set metrics just doesn’t work. And grammar rules often clash with writing that’s conversational and keeps people reading.
If you want to tell me I can’t start a sentence with ‘And’, ‘So’ or ‘Because’, we’ll have a problem. Likewise if you evaluate my copy with AI editors. I write for humans, not machines.
And, speaking of machines, there’s my arch enemy, Yoast…
You want me to use Yoast
If you’re fixated on turning all Yoast’s traffic lights green, we won’t be compatible. Period.
I was writing website copy and content before Yoast was even invented. Its traffic light system might be okay as a guide for newbies, but, as anyone who understands SEO knows, turning all those lights to green can actually be detrimental.
Personally, I find it distracting and I don’t use it. Which is probably why all my SEO scores are in the red.
And I don’t abide by its reading score either — because that’s often wrong, too.
10. You need something I don’t support
As a generalist copywriter, I’m happy to write about most things and I specialise in explaining complex things simply. But there are some areas I tend to stay away from.
Some sectors are very niche and typically need more specialist expertise than I can offer.
There are some sectors I don’t support because they go against my brand values.
- Animal cruelty/exploitation/hunting
- Single-use plastic or paper products.
There are some things I won’t do for ethical reasons.
- Making false or unsubstantiated claims
- Using unprincipled coercion or manipulation tactics
- Promoting exploitation in any form.
11. You don’t know what you need
For your project to work, you have to be confident in your business and know exactly what you need.
- Your audience — exactly who we’re talking to
- Your value proposition — what you’re offering and the value your customers can expect from it
- Your USP — what’s different about you and what you’re offering.
If you’re new to this and you haven’t decided these things yet, it will be difficult for me to write copy that really hits the spot. And if you’re still figuring things out, any copy I write for you will need changing if you change your direction.
Getting your copy written before you know where your business is heading can be a false economy and it’s really best avoided.
Still want to work with me?
So you like the sound of my sensible, no-nonsense approach and you think we could work together?
Then what are you waiting for?
There are a number of ways to contact me — and none of them involve WhatsApp!